December: Boot Camp Perfect

Well, we’ve finally reached the beginning of the end.  The end of my year of new resolutions, that is.  According the my roadmap for this past year, December is the time to engage in “Boot Camp Perfect.”  By that, apparently Ms. Rubin means that I should follow all my resolutions and determinations all the time.

Although that sounds like an awfully big project, I’ve realized over the past few weeks that I don’t have to do it all every moment of every day.  I’ve incorporated a lot of my inspirations and resolutions – for lack of a better term – into my life this year, and although at first it was somewhat daunting every time I picked up a new habit, as the time has gone on, a great deal of it has simply become second nature.  Truth be told, I’m glad for that, especially at this busy time of year.  My “to-do” list is already four pages long, and if I had to add all the changes I’ve made in my life to every day’s tasks, I’d never get it all done.

For this post, however, I’m going to focus on the biggest change in my life and what has made the most difference:  thankfulness.  Making the decision to be happy and finding thankfulness in my every day has made a huge difference in how I get through the days.

2013 has been a not-so-great year in our household in so many ways:  we lost my beloved father-in-law, and we lost a beloved pet.  I’ve begun forging a new relationship with a long-estranged family member, which although a pleasant development, has not been an easy thing to do.  We’ve had health scares and some difficult moments involving children, including one memorable exchange between me and one of my step-daughters wherein she texted in anger “You’re NOT my mother!  Although I desperately wanted to text back, “Thank God for that.,” my husband managed to convince me that was not the wisest thing I could do.  I think she would agree with me that we haven’t had the best relationship this year.

One thing I have realized this year is that I simply cannot please everyone so I am trying to focus most only the people who truly matter in my life:  Ernie Hemingway, my little boy.  There is also the step-daughter who is still speaking to me and with whom I think I have a decent relationship – of course, she may feel differently, but if she does, at least she hasn’t told me.

I focus on my family and my friends, as well, the people to whom I would choose to be related if I could.  The people who rock my world with their very fabulousness and make me want to be a better me.

As I look forward into 2014, I hope for bigger and better.  I marvel at the strength and resilience Ernie Hemingway and I have displayed, the tenderness with which we have learned to treat one another and our hopes and dreams this year, and I am excited for the next year.  I know there are only good things to come, pressures to be relieved, obstacles to be blown up and swept away.

I’ve always known that I love my husband, but events of 2013 have illustrated for me vividly just  what a truly wonderful man he is.  The patience and forgiveness he displays toward those who continually aggravate and would do him harm, the devotion he has for our life together, and the determination he has for making our dreams, my dreams, his dreams, our children’s dreams, come true.

We are both talkers – often to the detriment of ourselves, as on occasion we talk long into the night and end up bleary-eyed the next morning from lack of sleep.  He listens to me and acts on what I say. He doesn’t judge me when I have a meltdown over something trivial.  He follows through on his pledges, and not once have I doubted his devotion to our family.

He stands up for me, supports me, defends me.  When something hurts me or bothers me, he tries to make it go away, he tries to remove the problem or solve the dilemma, even when it may be to his own detriment.  As I said at our wedding, during my tear-filled speech, he is simply the best  man I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.  As I did then, today I still thank him for doing me the honor of loving me.

If not for him, 2013 would have been even more difficult, and I am lucky to have such a wonderful person by my side as I travel through the vagaries of life.


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