The subject line of the message was “Should you sell your engagement ring?”
I clicked on it, because as many articles and books as there are on divorcing and moving forward after divorce, there don’t seem to be many addressing the practicalities of divorce, especially what to do with that chunk of real estate on your finger. Because that’s what a diamond is, really; a chunk of earth pressurized into something that cleans up pretty nicely.
When I ended my first marriage in 2001, I wanted to throw my diamond onto the trash heap. My attorney advised me to hold that thought. 14 months later, the decree was final and I was free to celebrate and to grieve.
So I celebrated not by selling the ring, but by turning it into a symbol infinitely more valuable to me. I knew if I sold the ring for cash, I’d only receive a fraction of its worth, so I took it back to the jeweler who created it and exchanged it for a credit voucher of actual retail value.
I sat on that voucher for months, trying to decide what I wanted, what would give me to most pleasure to wear and see, what would most remind me of the woman I was reclaiming. I have that piece of jewelry still, and each time I wear it I am reminded of who I am and what I survived.
So my answer is yes, always yes! Get rid of your engagement and wedding rings. I believe that stones hold energy and when a marriage ends, the negative energy stays in them. Hanging onto the stones keeps that negativity with you, but by selling or trading your rings, you get rid of the negativity.
Getting rid of the rings gives you an opportunity to have something new that houses positive energy, whether that is a different piece of jewelry, a vacation, a new computer, or even an increased bank balance. Each day you will be reminded who you are and what you’ve survived, and that is infinitely more beautiful that even the most exquisite diamond could ever be.