Sometimes you just need to stop over-thinking and trust your instincts.
A couple of weeks ago, I was driving with my son. Nearing home, I depressed the brake pedal and pulled the steering wheel toward the right as our car approached a turn.
Nothing happened. The car kept going. Shit, shit, shit.
I’ve been absent from this space for the last couple of months because I’ve been hibernating.
One of the definitions of “hibernation” is “to withdraw or be in seclusion.” Every January, I try to remove myself from the daily insanity of connectedness to discourse with myself and ensure that my life is proceeding in the direction I want and need. I intended this year to be just the same, but as I moved through the holidays and January to jump back into my routine, I realized I needed to make it different. Continue reading
It’s a loaded word. The concept seems simple, but there is nothing easy about it. Even speaking the truth can be fraught with triggers and uncertainty.
What if I speak my truth and somebody doesn’t agree with me? What if speaking my truth makes somebody else angry, or makes them feel betrayed, hurt? What if it makes other people uncomfortable?
News flash… Continue reading
Let’s talk about your life.
Do you feel free? Joyful? Connected?
Most importantly, does your life feel the way you want it to feel?
When I read The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte for the first time, my life was not feeling the way I wanted it to.
Recently I read an essay by Toni Hammer about the void that happens when you’re done having children. About halfway through the piece, I could feel a knot in my throat, tears rising behind my eyes. Why? Because I’ve been living in this void, unwilling, possibly unable, to admit it. Reading Ms. Hammer’s words brought me to my knees in recognition.
I grew up an only child until age 12, when my sister was born. The sizable gap between us ensured that we both experienced life more or less as only children with the undivided attention and devotion of our parents. I thought that was fine and that if I ever had a child, I only wanted one. Continue reading
I have given up coffee. It started out as a summer project, but as the days have unfolded, it’s become something I realize weighs me down, literally and figuratively, so I can’t see it making a grand entrance back into my world anytime soon. Continue reading
Learning recently that a settlement had been reached between the Central Park 5 and the city of New York, I was transported back in time to my senior year of high school and the fights I had with my mother over where I would attend college. Continue reading
After participating in the Ultimate Blog Challenge during the month of April, I decided to take a break for a couple of weeks from writing here. A lot happened during April that made me reevaluate some things in my life, and to do some hard pondering about where I’ve been and where I’m going. Continue reading
I‘ve been having a lot of trouble letting go lately. No matter that I know I need to do it, I can’t seem to let go: of my anger towards people whom I believe are acting in ways to harm my family or who are acting so selfishly that harm to others is inevitable; of the unattainable perfectionism that often grabs me by the throat and threatens to shut down my breathing when I fight her; of myself. I know it‘s unhealthy to focus and obsess, but I can’t seem to get my head wrapped around letting go and relinquishing control. Continue reading
One of the last times I yelled at my son was Sunday, November 10, 2013. That was the day I decided I never wanted to do it again because I never again wanted to see hurt and confusion, even fear, in his eyes when he looked at me. Although I am certain I will yell again at some point, I nevertheless keep the date posted on my refrigerator. Even when I have slipped, I see that date written on my refrigerator white board and catch myself faster. I take a breath, and then I stop. Continue reading