Tag Archives: experience

Trust Your Instincts

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Sometimes you just need to stop over-thinking and trust your instincts.

A couple of weeks ago, I was driving with my son.  Nearing home, I depressed the brake pedal and pulled the steering wheel toward the right as our car approached a turn.

Nothing happened.  The car kept going.  Shit, shit, shit.
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Why Teenagers Occasionally Get It Right

 

Do teenagers have it right? Is sinking into your emotions, settling in among the swirling colored vortex surrounding you and whipping around you like a funnel cloud the way to make sense of things, the only real way to move safely through the angst and overwhelm of intense emotions?

I’m beginning to think so.

The universe seems to be speaking to me, and lately, in the precise moment I need something, it shows up.

A recent yoga class ended with an instructor anecdote about her son falling and hurting himself.  Listening, my brain started to tingle as she recounted how she had scooped him up and soothed him, not by simply holding him and allowing him to feel, but by jumping into the silence with words. As she repeated the phrase and advised that perhaps we shouldn’t be so quick to jump into the silence of feeling and fill it with words, I felt like a cartoon characters with an idea, the light bulb forming above my head.

My yoga and meditation practices have been expanding of late without much obvious emotional change (except my increased patience!), but a while ago I noticed an uncomfortable pressure in my right lower back, directly to the right of my sacrum.  It felt like nothing so much as my pelvis needing to crack.  

During this particular class, the sequences presented were heavy on twists and hip opening sequences, and as much as I wanted to cry uncle and rest in child’s pose, I fought to focus and breathe through the discomfort.

Then, in the midst of an opening twist sequence, I started to cry.  No dainty, dignified tears for me.  These tears flowed down my cheeks like salt rivers, dripping off my jawbone and soaking my neck and shirt before I’d even worked up much of a sweat.  I wanted to hide, to hang my head and wipe away the wetness, but instead swallowed and kept going, breathing through the certainty that everyone could somehow hear my tears.

I kept crying throughout the class.  It seemed as if every time I opened my mouth that day, I cried more.  Talking it through with my sister, I realized that the uncomfortable pressure in my back had started two days prior upon awakening from a disturbing dream. I couldn’t remember the dream, just the fear I felt upon waking, my heart pounding as if I had just been chased. I had been trying to  decipher what it meant, but I hadn’t allowed myself to settle into the emotions because they were frightening. I felt threatened. 

Towards evening, the pressure began to lessen a bit.  The light bulb switched on and I realized that by trying to deny the fear and sadness I felt after the dream, I had inadvertently caused all the negative energy to gather in a ball in my lower back.  Only when I settled into moving meditation did my unconscious mind take over and allow the energy to ove through my body to release.

So I do think adolscents have this thing right: settling into your emotions, allowing them to swell around you and envelop you, really does seem to be the only way to get through them without being consumed by them. It seems to be the best way to release them so you can move on.  

My back seems to think so, anyway.

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Tips for Dealing with Troublemakers and Toxic People

images-19 How do you deal with someone who is toxic or simply intent on causing trouble? You know the type. The person who begins a conversation with an innocent sounding premise, but then proceeds to launch a sugar-coated attack on you or places the blame for their transgressions onto you.  Toxic Troublemakers, we’ve all got them in our lives. Continue reading

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Time Out

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Today I take time out to honor those who died on September 11, 2001.  As I do each year on this day, I recommit myself to making my life count, to making the most of the time I have been given so not to dishonor the immeasurable sacrifice of those heroes and innocents who lost their lives that day.

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The View From Here: On Being a Jewish Mother

Today’s post is up at Jennifer Hall’s blog, Dancing in the Rain.  Jennifer runs a guest post series called “The View From Here.”

I am humbled and honored that Jennifer chose to include my post, On Being a Jewish Mother as this week’s feature.

Please stop on by and take a read!

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Transformation, Mile Marker 1.0

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Last night I started the first book on that insane list, Chakras for Beginners by David Pond.  The extent of my knowledge at the beginning of this journey is that there are seven chakras and they have to do with life balance.

I don’t know the names of all the chakras, but I know some from a regular yoga practice about the Third Eye chakra, the Root chakra, the Sacral chakra, and the Crown chakra.  I guess that’s as good a place as any to start. Continue reading

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Down the Rabbit Hole of Self-Improvement

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I’ve been cleaning house this summer, and as I clear out my books, one of the things I’ve noticed is that I have an extraordinary number of self-help books.  I’m not talking a few, I’m talking dozens.  I’ve probably invested many hundreds of dollars, possibly thousands, in these little tomes of wisdom over the years. Continue reading

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Don’t Look Back (July U.B.C. Day 3)

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Learning recently that a settlement had been reached between the Central Park 5 and the city of New York, I was transported back in time to my senior year of high school and the fights I had with my mother over where I would attend college. Continue reading

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I’m sorry; could you repeat that? (July U.B.C. Day 2)

Menopause Graphic

I saw my gynecologist yesterday and learned that at 45, I am more than likely menopausal.  Not peri-menopausal, but through it.  All the way.  Done.  Finished.  I haven’t had time to suss out how that makes me feel yet, but over the past twenty-four hours, it’s been alternating between euphoria and despair. Continue reading

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The Things He Handed Down

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Seventy years ago today my grandfather and tens of thousands of other soldiers landed on the beaches of Normandy, France.

My grandfather, Ray, survived Omaha Beach, was honorably discharged from the Army, then came home, married my grandmother, and raised his family. His daughters grew up, married and had children of their own – five granddaughters. Ray believed in duty and hard work. He believed in taking and owning responsibility for his decisions, his life, and that’s what he taught his children. Continue reading

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