The Void

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Recently I read an essay by Toni Hammer about the void that happens when you’re done having children. About halfway through the piece, I could feel a knot in my throat, tears rising behind my eyes. Why? Because I’ve been living in this void, unwilling, possibly unable, to admit it. Reading Ms. Hammer’s words brought me to my knees in recognition.

I grew up an only child until age 12, when my sister was born. The sizable gap between us ensured that we both experienced life more or less as only children with the undivided attention and devotion of our parents. I thought that was fine and that if I ever had a child, I only wanted one. Read more

Rainy Day Fun (U.B.C. – Day 26)

When The Boy was in Pre-K last year, one of the parental duties was making and providing the class with modeling materials, one of which is known as Flubba.  You may recall the Robin Williams movie from 1997, Flubber, in which he plays an absent-minded professor who discovers the super-bouncy rubber-like polymer.  That’s exactly what Flubba is, and the kids love it. Read more

The People’s River and the Gift of Time (U.B.C. – Day 23)

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The Charles River snakes through the southern part of my town, approximately three-quarters of a mile from my front door. On the western side of the bridge is a small waterfall, the size of which belies the fury of the water tumbling over. One the eastern side is a calm in which an observer can lose themselves watching the pattern of the current. Read more

Castle Island (U.B.C. – Day 21)

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Today was a gorgeous day here in eastern Massachusetts, sunny and although the temperature reached the high 60s by late afternoon, for the start and running of most of the marathon, it was in the mid-50s to low 60s; perfect running weather for the Boston Marathon.

Because the majority of roads around us close at 8:30 am and stay that way until late afternoon, I decided to get out of dodge and scheduled a playdate with The Boy and a friend of his from nursery school whose mother just happens to be a great friend of mine, as well. We decided to go biking with the boys at Castle Island in South Boston. Read more

It’s a Pretty Good Day (U.B.C. – Day 11)

Today was a pretty good day.  The nasty spider bite underneath my left eye has finally turned from purple and red back to my regular complexion color, and the swelling has gone down so that I no longer look like I ran into somebody’s Superbowl ring.  Here’s what it looked like for the past couple of days:

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It was warm and relatively sunny today, around 68 degrees, which for these parts is a veritable heatwave.  I had time to take a trek into Boston to get my hair done, which always makes me feel pretty.  I took The Boy to Dairy Queen for the first Blizzard of the season, then we hit a movie, Rio 2. All around a good day.  Happy Friday! MadnessofJoy-monogram

Ultimate Blog Party 2014 (U.B.C. – Day 5)

Happy day five of the Ultimate Blog Challenge! Happy Saturday! Happy April 5th! Happy whatever it is you might be celebrating today!

You can sense a theme here. I’m having a happy day. A party day. I woke up refreshed and rested after a full eight hours of sleep. Yes, you read that correctly. I – mother of a 6 year-old boy, a/k/a perpetual motion machine – got eight hours of sleep last night. I feel like a million bucks, and I woke up happy and energetic for the first time in I can’t remember how long. I was up at 7am making pancakes, for freaks’ sake. It feels as if I could conquer the world today. I plan to do just that. Read more

Holder of My Heart (U.B.C. Day 3)

Today has been one of those days.  I knew from early on that I would be busy, but I nonetheless hoped I would be able to find time to write a post.  Alas, it never happened.  Knowing that, I decided to experiment with photography and post a photo I took today of the little man who holds my heart (as opposed to the big man who holds my heart).

 

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Muffin Tops (U.B.C. – Day 2)

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My son has recently discovered coffee cake and coffee cake muffins. This may not seem important or exciting enough to warrant an entire blog post, but trust me when I say that prior to his discovery, my child ate nothing. His diet for the past couple of years has consisted entirely of bagels with peanut butter, french fries, pizza, plain pasta with Romano cheese, and any type of candy he could grab. Our pediatrician talked me down off the ledge on multiple occasions, reassuring me that it was a phase and it would pass. Read more

Yelling Not Allowed

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One of the last times I yelled at my son was Sunday, November 10, 2013. That was the day I decided I never wanted to do it again because I never again wanted to see hurt and confusion, even fear, in his eyes when he looked at me. Although I am certain I will yell again at some point, I nevertheless keep the date posted on my refrigerator. Even when I have slipped, I see that date written on my refrigerator white board and catch myself faster. I take a breath, and then I stop. Read more

The Majesty of Thanks

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True Majesty: American bald eagle in flight, July 2013

As I begin the great Thanksgiving cook-fest, with the feast looming less than twenty-four hours in my future, I thought I’d wipe off my hands on the dish towel and turn from the stove for a few moments to give thanks. Read more